How to manage a chronic complainer
[Management Tip of the Day]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce482623&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=2Fs9ECSJ99jl2nuzvJBnhhu1AHgLmTrVYy4MtsQ6c1k>
Today’s Tip
How to Manage a Chronic Complainer
Chronic complainers can have a damaging effect on those around them. So what should you do if you manage an employee who’s prone to perpetual pessimism? First, be realistic with yourself about the situation. If the person is truly a chronic complainer, offering sympathy or solutions is unlikely to change their behavior or mindset. You need to set clear boundaries instead. Tell your employee that you're prepared to listen and discuss whatever is bothering them, but that your conversation needs to focus on a specific issue that can be resolved. Going over the same, unsolvable problem repeatedly won't do either of you any good. If the issue at hand doesn't have a solution, or is entirely out of your hands as a manager, urge your employee to change their perspective and reframe their thinking around appreciation and gratitude for the things that they value. Of course, fostering this kind of a behavioral change takes time and may require support from a coach or therapist. Present these options to your employee, and explain that while you care about their wellbeing and happiness, you may not always be the best person to help them work through all of their personal struggles.
This tip is adapted from “Managing a Chronic Complainer<https://hbr.org/2021/04/managing-a-chronic-complainer?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge,”> by Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries
ADVERTISEMENT
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720421&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce482624&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=_hr9SJW6amYdgwERrzZ5px25slWYQVFtqwJkr8fvCTs>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720422&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce482625&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=qA0sICrbqhoXIli0PTyB33neVncGczQ_vfXsoEqZjR4>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720424&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce48269e&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=HzzFR-izv3GZf_F1IjZkjvwLN5NXb5ElUAJtoyAZgAE>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/NewsletterPromo_Assessments_Sept2020.png]<https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
Analyze your leadership skills. <https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
HBR Assessments help you to explore your work style and offer resources to support continued growth.
Take an Assessment <https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2021/03/Mar21_24_HBRStaff.jpg]<https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
Article
What Is Your Organization’s Long-Term Remote Work Strategy? <https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
by Erin E. Makarius, Barbara Z. Larson, and Susan R. Vroman
Ten questions to guide your approach.
Read more <https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/10170E/10170E_500x407.png]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
Ebook
HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict Ebook + Tools <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
by Amy Gallo
$49.95
Learn more <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
[triangle icon]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive>
Don’t forget you’re entitled to 20% off your first purchase*
*Use promo code HBRORGREG4.
View details here.<https://hbr.org/registration-details>
[twitter]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce48269f&s=MHWqizY5wStiY-XOW3E6-N-SIznypbLe1mvHMWuhSrs>
[facebook]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a0&s=nt0c2LdgjVianfph51-oKGyXjrGYXA0LWhWcJ2lEelY>
[instagram]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a1&s=FsXr1g_l0cIIEOBtqgWqN_3YI0ia_io-re-BEWOTIZE>
View in browser <https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a2&p1=%40WQuVDFFcGOGFV9eifhY3fKG8xfkQhIpkJGa39HVwWq_QaoHibXMhLiChu4VZCVSprkk1QX-0Lj2LT0GqX7z2z37yD9yMiMj9d_rztdo_FdYsgvic&s=D9ZgV4w_ymNb50cZihOoU--nMryEVU1ej8a7icxTps4>
Contact us<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a3&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=gd_HzU4Dh4Yy4EpT6Tz29EoqqCsiSeXhqG1dWy7d7H4>
Privacy policy<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a4&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=hjzrTFCUh6X6ut-t3tdhjVNnKeC-cauqMzWBMyVotPs>
Manage newsletter preferences<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a5&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=R3VL9GxFrrt8SCxEND9Vvf2NH3vFbxq7j5ZYriO888M>
Unsubscribe<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a6&p1=%40t6p7L4VyTOGTCdqZdBCfGpvOsjDPku9z06x_xAqkXoUTyQlBAI1RCPXFUHIlRv-4bd6IUX5VvSkAlDsCcrkcKJEhxVs&s=bcb7grlLXwT1yfsiiU7bJtYWdDpGNRSMi8Smn0CdeeQ>
To ensure email delivery, add noreply@a.email.hbr.org<mailto:noreply@a.email.hbr.org> to your address book, contacts, or safe sender list.
Copyright © 2021 Harvard Business School Publishing,
an affiliate of Harvard Business School. All rights reserved.
Harvard Business Publishing
20 Guest St, Suite 700
Brighton, MA 02135
Today’s Tip
How to Manage a Chronic Complainer
Chronic complainers can have a damaging effect on those around them. So what should you do if you manage an employee who’s prone to perpetual pessimism? First, be realistic with yourself about the situation. If the person is truly a chronic complainer, offering sympathy or solutions is unlikely to change their behavior or mindset. You need to set clear boundaries instead. Tell your employee that you're prepared to listen and discuss whatever is bothering them, but that your conversation needs to focus on a specific issue that can be resolved. Going over the same, unsolvable problem repeatedly won't do either of you any good. If the issue at hand doesn't have a solution, or is entirely out of your hands as a manager, urge your employee to change their perspective and reframe their thinking around appreciation and gratitude for the things that they value. Of course, fostering this kind of a behavioral change takes time and may require support from a coach or therapist. Present these options to your employee, and explain that while you care about their wellbeing and happiness, you may not always be the best person to help them work through all of their personal struggles.
This tip is adapted from “Managing a Chronic Complainer<https://hbr.org/2021/04/managing-a-chronic-complainer?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge,”> by Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries
ADVERTISEMENT
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720421&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce482624&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=_hr9SJW6amYdgwERrzZ5px25slWYQVFtqwJkr8fvCTs>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720422&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce482625&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=qA0sICrbqhoXIli0PTyB33neVncGczQ_vfXsoEqZjR4>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720424&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM127775]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce48269e&p1=jarrazola%40cste.org&p2=DM127775&s=HzzFR-izv3GZf_F1IjZkjvwLN5NXb5ElUAJtoyAZgAE>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/NewsletterPromo_Assessments_Sept2020.png]<https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
Analyze your leadership skills. <https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
HBR Assessments help you to explore your work style and offer resources to support continued growth.
Take an Assessment <https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&&term=Assessment&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2021/03/Mar21_24_HBRStaff.jpg]<https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
Article
What Is Your Organization’s Long-Term Remote Work Strategy? <https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
by Erin E. Makarius, Barbara Z. Larson, and Susan R. Vroman
Ten questions to guide your approach.
Read more <https://hbr.org/2021/03/what-is-your-organizations-long-term-remote-work-strategy?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&promo=MTOD1>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/10170E/10170E_500x407.png]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
Ebook
HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict Ebook + Tools <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
by Amy Gallo
$49.95
Learn more <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive&sku=10170E-KND-ENG>
[triangle icon]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-dealing-with-conflict-ebook-tools/10170?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_hbrlive>
Don’t forget you’re entitled to 20% off your first purchase*
*Use promo code HBRORGREG4.
View details here.<https://hbr.org/registration-details>
[twitter]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce48269f&s=MHWqizY5wStiY-XOW3E6-N-SIznypbLe1mvHMWuhSrs>
[facebook]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a0&s=nt0c2LdgjVianfph51-oKGyXjrGYXA0LWhWcJ2lEelY>
[instagram]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a1&s=FsXr1g_l0cIIEOBtqgWqN_3YI0ia_io-re-BEWOTIZE>
View in browser <https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a2&p1=%40WQuVDFFcGOGFV9eifhY3fKG8xfkQhIpkJGa39HVwWq_QaoHibXMhLiChu4VZCVSprkk1QX-0Lj2LT0GqX7z2z37yD9yMiMj9d_rztdo_FdYsgvic&s=D9ZgV4w_ymNb50cZihOoU--nMryEVU1ej8a7icxTps4>
Contact us<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a3&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=gd_HzU4Dh4Yy4EpT6Tz29EoqqCsiSeXhqG1dWy7d7H4>
Privacy policy<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a4&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=hjzrTFCUh6X6ut-t3tdhjVNnKeC-cauqMzWBMyVotPs>
Manage newsletter preferences<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a5&p1=?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&s=R3VL9GxFrrt8SCxEND9Vvf2NH3vFbxq7j5ZYriO888M>
Unsubscribe<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=h7aa974b2%2Ce482621%2Ce4826a6&p1=%40t6p7L4VyTOGTCdqZdBCfGpvOsjDPku9z06x_xAqkXoUTyQlBAI1RCPXFUHIlRv-4bd6IUX5VvSkAlDsCcrkcKJEhxVs&s=bcb7grlLXwT1yfsiiU7bJtYWdDpGNRSMi8Smn0CdeeQ>
To ensure email delivery, add noreply@a.email.hbr.org<mailto:noreply@a.email.hbr.org> to your address book, contacts, or safe sender list.
Copyright © 2021 Harvard Business School Publishing,
an affiliate of Harvard Business School. All rights reserved.
Harvard Business Publishing
20 Guest St, Suite 700
Brighton, MA 02135