COVID Leadership

It has been challenging to find time for self-care during the pandemic response for a combination of reasons, which many of us can relate to. Public health was not well resourced to begin with, so when the response started we had no choice but to put in extra hours. Even after additional funding allowed us to hire staff, there continue to be surges that exceed our staffing capacity. Most of use who have been with the response since the beginning have taken on supervisory roles, which means that our team members cannot move forward on their tasks or projects without our input. Which results in us participating in meetings most of the day and catching up on emails at night. On top of the work challenges, our children still end up staying home from school or because they do not have their usual activities, so we are often juggling work and their needs. At the moment, it feel impossible to prioritize self-care even if I wanted it. But I try to be mindful of how much my team members have on their plates to make sure they are not working unnecessary overtime. 
One change I have tried to implement is to not volunteer for additional tasks or decline requests to take on new projects. As exciting as it would be to be a part of something new, I am now balancing that against the costs of self-care for myself and our family. 
The activities I am holding onto are my leadership positions within the response that I assumed since the beginning of the response because I feel that the institutional knowledge about why our protocols, policies, or procedures evolved into the current form would be lost without that continuity. I also hold on because it does feel like privilege to be able to contribute to this response and I don't want to completely back away. 
I have also rationalized not prioritizing self-care because these are unique times, it will come to an end, and hopefully we will have better balance once we return to "peacetime".

I feel very strongly that staff pay more attention to what you do rather than what you say. I work for leaders who until recently, always expressed support for taking time off, having set working hours, etc. but would never demonstrate these behaviors themselves. It caused me to wonder if doing those actions would really be okay, or if they would hold me back in my career because I would be seen as not being willing to go the extra mile. Additionally, COVID has made this all even more complicated as everyone had VPN access at home (previously it was rare to get that approved) - so work is now occurring around the clock, 7 days a week. I've been really cognizant of how my direct reports see me model the words I tell them - I encourage time off, and make sure they know that when it's the end of their working day, they should be off email. Personally I find myself checking email from time to time after hours, but I don't respond because it only perpetuates the 24-hour work cycle.

Going forward, I would like to keep modeling the behavior that I think makes for a healthy work environment. To shift a workplace culture you need multiple people to be willing to be the example and I want to do that for my group and my direct reports. I also know I need to work on scheduling more time off in advance. If I have days booked on my calendar I look forward to them and then take the time off, rather then waiting for an excuse like a planned vacation to request days off. 

 

Prabu - I really resonate with your goal of not volunteering for additional tasks. It's hard for me not to do that as I want to be helpful but I also recognize that the more things I participate in, the less time I am able to give to each and the more likely I am to burn out. Do you have any suggestions for how to frame a no so that way 1) you're still seen as a team player and 2) you still get offers to participate in the future?

Reading both Prabu and Amy's responses, I realized I had never thought about taking time off as a leader from the perspective of those we lead. That really struck a cord with me as I often find myself pushing myself past the point of exhaustion over one project or the other and then my team members having to check on me to make sure I've ate my lunch today, or took the 15-minute break we are supposed to use. I always saw it as a team that cared for each other, and was happy that we at least had that going for us; but really, the team members I lead should have a better example of self-care. Then maybe that will translate into how they care for themselves. Even though my previous boss took plenty of time to be with her family, I always felt that expectation that I had to be on call-- ready to respond to her if she needed a last minute project done. That, then, translated into me volunteering for any "special" request or project that came up. 

I think that is something, like, Prabu, I need to get away from in the future (the volunteering to help when I'm too busy). At the same time, I'd like to communicate that with my new boss and share my concerns (from the past and present) about the fear of "missing out" on opportunities/advancements if I don't volunteer for things and how that culture seems (at least in my mind) to permeate our organization. 

This pandemic has made it incredibly difficult to model self-care when there was an expectation at the highest level that deadlines be met, regardless of the cost. (Several teams have put in overnights to meet these deadlines.)  My team would not have made it if people weren't willing to sacrifice their free time and energy. That said, things aren't quite "normal" yet in the COVID section, but there is a more realistic approach to what is acceptable to ask of employees. We are still in "overdrive", so to speak. It's hard to cut back when you've been working so hard for so long. 

Working so closely with my team over the past two years have made me more in tune with their stress levels and limits. I'm lucky enough to work with people that will bend over backwards to allow someone to take a break. Since this past fall, I have finally started using some vacation time and routinely encourage my staff to do the same. Many of us have reached our limit of banked vacation hours and are in the position where we must either use it or lose it. This is also a great motivation for people to use their hours and take a break.

Jamie, I relate to the feeling of having to be on call 24/7 and am still realizing the full impact that has had on me mentally and physically. I still feel the need to let everyone under the sun know if I'm going to be taking a break during the day and how they can reach me. I constantly tell my staff to text me if anything comes up while I'm out, even though they can likely handle most situations. 

Can anyone else comment on the physical toll the pandemic has had on them? For me, I've started grinding my teeth at night and have cracked two teeth.  Self-care at work is important to all aspects of our lives.