What to say when a team member shares that they're struggling
[Management Tip of the Day]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c1ff&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=7wgyywobAGBNvqDTUPJuq87ZPdEL4Vbq8_8VSrsbrfc>
Today’s Tip
What to Say When a Team Member Shares That They’re Struggling
As a manager, you need to be equipped to handle emotional conversations with your employees — especially these days. Here’s how to be supportive when someone shares that they’re going through a tough situation or challenge. First, validate their experience. This can be as simple as acknowledgement — for example, “I can see why this is exhausting.” You’re not only saying “I see you,” you’re also saying “I believe you,” which can make someone feel less alone. Give your colleague the chance to elaborate if they want to. Try coming from a place of curiosity; for example, you can say “Tell me more about that.” And you might then ask, “How can I best support you right now?” or “What would be helpful right now?” This will give them the opportunity to name what they need. If they are unable to do so — or if they’re afraid to — you can give them some options. For example, you can ask “Would X be helpful?” Offering a specific way to support them can make it easier for someone to say yes to accepting help. Finally, thank the person for coming to you. You might say, “I can see this has been hard. Thank you for trusting me with this information.” This signals to both you and them that conversations like this are important and reinforces a sense of safety for future conversations. It’s no longer enough for managers to provide the tools and resources for your team to function — you also need to create psychological safety for them to thrive.
This tip is adapted from “How Supportive Leaders Approach Emotional Conversations<https://hbr.org/2022/03/how-supportive-leaders-approach-emotional-conversations?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge,”> by Sarah Noll Wilson
ADVERTISEMENT
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720421&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c21e&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=gBqTxJGGmDGzH5R8a62wFoTKfdbOQEmz0ux7OLMaq0s>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720422&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c21f&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=7j-qXV_XVUuvEpsqfSIvtmsjaLBywTJHGV3wKUzUPhs>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720424&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c220&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=rDU0ViSMwgpTkVEGLH5pXp_HVje7rv7IkV4JqzfEgx8>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/NewsletterPromo_VL_Sept2020.png]<https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
Brilliant graphics for your brilliant ideas <https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
Create more presentable presentations. You have access to HBR graphics, slides and more in the Visual Library.
Visit our Visual Library <https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/newsletters/CRE2486_HBR-Live_MTOD_700.png]<https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
April 7
Leaders Who Make a Difference <https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
Join us for our annual virtual conference on driving social impact while delivering bottom-line growth. Hear from top CEOs and attend mini-masterclasses led by HBR authors.
Register now <https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/10022E_500x404.png]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
Ebook
HBR Guide to Leading Teams Ebook + Tools <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
by Mary L. Shapiro
$59.95
Learn more <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
[triangle icon]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
Don’t forget you’re entitled to 20% off your first purchase*
*Use promo code HBRORGREG4.
View details here.<https://hbr.org/registration-details>
[twitter]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c221>
[facebook]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c222>
[instagram]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c223>
View in browser <https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c224&e=cDE9QGpteW5BbzFYUzltYmxUZG50RE9EUmhYX21vUE43LWRuTnV1UEFfUG41bHZ4NC1CZ1lQZVAySHVxSHJYYXdkMS14N3BQX216T01BUnlPYWZJU0dTYnNWdHBxM19LYVhqU291Q2VlcDgtUFhOUlZUV1E&s=Xx8MQav4YnrbzzVQekrGxYPjp2zRCScFc425dwZcDEI>
Contact us<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c225&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=3Uv5kwtXmR11uA8rnGTbrua2nVkpAPaB8sUuW-l6pLA>
Privacy policy<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c226&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=cYIuUEVJ_XWtDHIEXlHYa-D3_vg6MPCExFsjUNg23Q8>
Manage newsletter preferences<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c227&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=vEI1OW4zPpxq44jaOkYMT0mpieYqYPul9ocDpn9TQt0>
Unsubscribe<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c228&e=cDE9JTQwdDZwN0w0VnlUT0dUQ2RxWmRCQ2ZHcHZPc2pEUGt1OXowNnhfeEFxa1hvVVR5UWxCQUkxUkNQWEZVSElsUnYtNGJkNklVWDVWdlNrQWxEc0NjcmtjS0pFaHhWcw&s=jwfsII7FuZs2iKBG9lECHHUVsb9A6ZlU3ootu2Vr7cU>
To ensure email delivery, add noreply@a.email.hbr.org<mailto:noreply@a.email.hbr.org> to your address book, contacts, or safe sender list.
Copyright © 2022 Harvard Business School Publishing,
an affiliate of Harvard Business School. All rights reserved.
Harvard Business Publishing
20 Guest St, Suite 700
Brighton, MA 02135
Today’s Tip
What to Say When a Team Member Shares That They’re Struggling
As a manager, you need to be equipped to handle emotional conversations with your employees — especially these days. Here’s how to be supportive when someone shares that they’re going through a tough situation or challenge. First, validate their experience. This can be as simple as acknowledgement — for example, “I can see why this is exhausting.” You’re not only saying “I see you,” you’re also saying “I believe you,” which can make someone feel less alone. Give your colleague the chance to elaborate if they want to. Try coming from a place of curiosity; for example, you can say “Tell me more about that.” And you might then ask, “How can I best support you right now?” or “What would be helpful right now?” This will give them the opportunity to name what they need. If they are unable to do so — or if they’re afraid to — you can give them some options. For example, you can ask “Would X be helpful?” Offering a specific way to support them can make it easier for someone to say yes to accepting help. Finally, thank the person for coming to you. You might say, “I can see this has been hard. Thank you for trusting me with this information.” This signals to both you and them that conversations like this are important and reinforces a sense of safety for future conversations. It’s no longer enough for managers to provide the tools and resources for your team to function — you also need to create psychological safety for them to thrive.
This tip is adapted from “How Supportive Leaders Approach Emotional Conversations<https://hbr.org/2022/03/how-supportive-leaders-approach-emotional-conversations?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge,”> by Sarah Noll Wilson
ADVERTISEMENT
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720421&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c21e&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=gBqTxJGGmDGzH5R8a62wFoTKfdbOQEmz0ux7OLMaq0s>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720422&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c21f&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=7j-qXV_XVUuvEpsqfSIvtmsjaLBywTJHGV3wKUzUPhs>
[https://sli.hbr.org/imp?s=720424&li=%7bLIST_ID%7d&e=jarrazola@cste.org&p=DM180821]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c220&e=cDE9amFycmF6b2xhQGNzdGUub3JnJnAyPURNMTgwODIx&s=rDU0ViSMwgpTkVEGLH5pXp_HVje7rv7IkV4JqzfEgx8>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/NewsletterPromo_VL_Sept2020.png]<https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
Brilliant graphics for your brilliant ideas <https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
Create more presentable presentations. You have access to HBR graphics, slides and more in the Visual Library.
Visit our Visual Library <https://hbr.org/visual-library?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/newsletters/CRE2486_HBR-Live_MTOD_700.png]<https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
April 7
Leaders Who Make a Difference <https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
Join us for our annual virtual conference on driving social impact while delivering bottom-line growth. Hear from top CEOs and attend mini-masterclasses led by HBR authors.
Register now <https://events.bizzabo.com/378198?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle&promo=MTOD2&utm_content=signinnudge>
[https://hbr.org/resources/images/marketing/email/10022E_500x404.png]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
Ebook
HBR Guide to Leading Teams Ebook + Tools <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
by Mary L. Shapiro
$59.95
Learn more <https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
[triangle icon]<https://store.hbr.org/product/hbr-guide-to-leading-teams-ebook-tools/10022?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_actsubs&utm_content=signinnudge&utm_term=subben_buyeracq_subarticle>
Don’t forget you’re entitled to 20% off your first purchase*
*Use promo code HBRORGREG4.
View details here.<https://hbr.org/registration-details>
[twitter]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c221>
[facebook]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c222>
[instagram]<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c223>
View in browser <https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c224&e=cDE9QGpteW5BbzFYUzltYmxUZG50RE9EUmhYX21vUE43LWRuTnV1UEFfUG41bHZ4NC1CZ1lQZVAySHVxSHJYYXdkMS14N3BQX216T01BUnlPYWZJU0dTYnNWdHBxM19LYVhqU291Q2VlcDgtUFhOUlZUV1E&s=Xx8MQav4YnrbzzVQekrGxYPjp2zRCScFc425dwZcDEI>
Contact us<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c225&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=3Uv5kwtXmR11uA8rnGTbrua2nVkpAPaB8sUuW-l6pLA>
Privacy policy<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c226&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=cYIuUEVJ_XWtDHIEXlHYa-D3_vg6MPCExFsjUNg23Q8>
Manage newsletter preferences<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c227&e=cDE9P3V0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1uZXdzbGV0dGVyX2RhaWx5JnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1tdG9kX2FjdHN1YnMmdXRtX2NvbnRlbnQ9c2lnbmlubnVkZ2U&s=vEI1OW4zPpxq44jaOkYMT0mpieYqYPul9ocDpn9TQt0>
Unsubscribe<https://t.a.email.hbr.org/r/?id=ha0eb4d6b,1336c1fd,1336c228&e=cDE9JTQwdDZwN0w0VnlUT0dUQ2RxWmRCQ2ZHcHZPc2pEUGt1OXowNnhfeEFxa1hvVVR5UWxCQUkxUkNQWEZVSElsUnYtNGJkNklVWDVWdlNrQWxEc0NjcmtjS0pFaHhWcw&s=jwfsII7FuZs2iKBG9lECHHUVsb9A6ZlU3ootu2Vr7cU>
To ensure email delivery, add noreply@a.email.hbr.org<mailto:noreply@a.email.hbr.org> to your address book, contacts, or safe sender list.
Copyright © 2022 Harvard Business School Publishing,
an affiliate of Harvard Business School. All rights reserved.
Harvard Business Publishing
20 Guest St, Suite 700
Brighton, MA 02135